Smurfass: The Smurfberry Smasher
by Nigel Yearning
Summary: Brainy decides to build a "Smurfberry Smasher" aka "The Nut Smasher" within the village and had some fun. Written Jackass Style, Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters**

**Claimer: I only own characters that are "NOT" in the Smurfs comic, tv series, and movie.**

"Step right up, step right up." says Brainy at the center of the village, "And prepare to smurf my amazing creation."

Whatever it is, the thing was quite long and it was covered by a huge bed sheet. Usually Handy was the one with the inventions but this time Brainy get's a chance, and he took the opportunity seriously.

"What is it?" asked a Smurf.

"It's a device that can smurf you so hard that it will bring you too the ground," said Brainy, "Be warned as you will be suffering so much pain if you become it's victim."

Brainy removes the cloth and revealed what looked like a see saw, the thing that moves children up and down on. The high end was a platform and the other end was hooked up to spring upward after enough tension is place on the platform, "So what is it again?" asked the same smurf.

"I don't know what to call it, but if one of you like to volunteer I'll show you what it does." said Brainy.

Hefty soon raised his hand, "I'll volunteer," he said.

"Oh, place your feet between that pole then." said Brainy, "And stand there with your legs spread out."

Hefty walked up to the pool and placed his feet between the pole and spreads out what Brainy climbed up a ladder and jumped onto the platform, his weight built up tension on the pole and then it gives. It shot up into Hefty's groin with 9 kilograms or 20 pounds of force, Hefty let out a squeal as he shot up into the air a few apple over Brainy before heading back to earth on his rear.

He collapsed onto the ground crying awhile grabbing his privates, Brainy can only laugh and thought, "Revenge is sweet."

Unexpectedly, all the smurfs laughed and clapped. Then Brainy said, "Anymore smurfs like to volunteer?"

"I'll go," answers Clumsy raising his hand. Brainy steps off the platform and it went back up into the air and clicks into place of the spring mechanism, Clumsy stepped between the pole and Brainy climbs up the ladder and jumped onto the platform. The pole builds tension and released, hitting Clumsy in the groin and propelling him over Brainy and landed right next to Hefty.

"Anyone else?" asked Brainy.

"No, I hate that thing," mumbled Grouchy.

Brainy stepped off the platform and a couple of smurfs grabbed him and dragged him over to the pole as he struggles, just as the got Grouchy underneath the pole Brainy jumps on the platform and he went flying over him and landed near Clumsy and Hefty. As all three were in pain, everyone was laughing so hard. As Reporter Smurf documents the scene, another smurf volunteered and he was propelled upwards and landed near the group of smurfs who were in pain.

No smurfs volunteered soon afterwards but they managed to force a dozen smurfs to join just before they put the 17th smurf on the pole. Papa Smurf finally and was just in time to watch the 17th smurf fling into the air and landed in a large pile of aching smurfs as they grabbed their groins in pain.

"Shame on you Smurfs," scolded, "Being stupid and acting human, why I oughta..."

That's when he noticed Grandpa Smurf, aka his Papa Smurf, within the crowd of groin smashed smurfs knocked out cold and lying face down on the ground, distracted a couple of smurfs came in from behind and picked him up by his shoulders and placed his feet between the metal bar awhile every smurf in the village cheers.

Brainy jumped on the platform and the two smurfs let's go of Papa Smurf in a fraction of a second. The pole between his legs smashes against his groin and launched him over Brainy and landed on the Smurf Pyramid. He was knocked out cold by the massive pain, just like Grandpa Smurf.

All the smurfs cheered in glory at the results, "When Papa Smurf wakes up," advices Brainy, "Act like you have no idea what he's talking about when he mentions this." When Brainy steps off the platform he got an unsuspected surprise, "Hey guys," said a voice. Everyone shuts up and saw Smurfette walked into the scene with a curious look on her face, "What your doing?" she asked.

"Well if you wanna know," says Brainy, "Stand above that bar over there."

The smurs try not to laugh as Smurfette stands above the bar, then Brainy climbed the ladder and jumped onto the platform.

The bar quickly build tension and flung itself between Smurfette's legs, she yelped as she flew over Brainy and landed onto the pile of aching smurfs.

She was crying like a baby as she grabs her groin, then Grandpa Smurf woke up and tapped Smurfette on her shoulder getting her attention. "I never had this much fun since I was a smurfling," he says, "Ha, ha..." Grandpa Smurf stopped short and passes back out. Brainy steps off the platform and lends Smurfette a hand and helped her back to her feet.

"How far did I flew?" she asked, wiping the tears from her face.

"Not that far I suppose," said Brainy, "How bad does it hurt?"

"Really, really, bad." she says as she tries to walk, "Ow!"

"Your the first one who had gotten up after getting nailed in the groin," said Brainy, "We've got ourselves a winner! Smurfette beat the Smurfberry Smasher"

All the smurfs cheered at Smurfette's toleration of Brainy's "Smurfberry Smasher", Smurfette was to hurt to walk so Brainy carried her off back home. Everyone finally gotten bored and went home, Brainy simply dismantled the "Smurfberry Smasher" and lefts all of it's victims laying around until they shake off their aches and heads back home. And as predicted, Papa Smurf had no clue on what just happened.

"What happened?" he asked to a fellow smurf.

"You came out here for fresh air and you fell asleep on the ground," said the smurf.

"Oh, I don't know how that happened but it makes sense enough." said Papa Smurf, but when he saw Grandpa Smurf still laying there face down on the ground his memory was jogged back up.

"Oh now I remember, that thing where smurfs are being smurfed in the smurfberries." he said.

"I have no idea what your talking about," said the smurf, "Are you sure you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine," he said, "Exuse me."

He ended up going all over the village asking the same question, they all said the same answer having no clue on what he's talking about. This went on all day until night, by that time Grandpa Smurf finally got up and heads home. Having enough for one day.

**THE END**


End file.
